by Lisa Olson"Desperation Nation" the headline read, and I did not click on it. I would not. I'm not "clicking" on this headline that the media keeps trying to shove down my throat with fear-based propaganda and despair as fodder. Suddenly the words "The Economy" have become frightening and threatening. I thought about dressing as "The Economy" for Halloween... it would be ghoulish, no doubt, but I don't want to feed into this monster.
It's not "The Economy" we're afraid of. It's ourselves stripped down that terrifies us. Because if we're not our clothes, our cars, our stuff, our homes... what are we? Who are we? Will we be loved?
I won't buy into all this because I simply don't want to waste time. This is it. The Real Deal. This is what we're given- this reality, this world of potential, experience, this wide and vast canvas to create upon. This is it, and I will not spend my limited days here wallowing in despair for all that is wrong with the world or wallowing in cynicism. I will not. I insist on inhabiting my days.
"Desperation Nation?" I don't think so. If there's a "pervasive" attitude that's sweeping the nation... nobody asked me or my friends for our two cents. I'm still gonna party like it's 1999, as dated as those lyrics may be. I intend to suck as much juice out of this one sweet life, this flash-in-the-pan experience that I will never have again, as much as I possibly can, til there's nothing left but rind, and a seed or two. Doom and Gloom, eat your heart out. You don’t scare me.
I am no Pollyanna. I have dabbled in despair and flirted with doom. I have gone to bed with gloom. I've even had long-term relationships with depression. I am not immune or blind to these feelings. But when given a choice between misery and joy, I'll choose joy, thank you.
When given a choice between hopelessness and hope, I'll take hope.
When given a choice between hiding in the shadows or living in the light, I choose light.
I am not denying the existence or importance or validity of pain, of despair. It's vital, and serves purpose, for without darkness, how would we define the light?
But I've wasted enough time crawling around in the shadows of hopelessness, hiding under rocks, digging around in the dirt of my own despair. And I have no more time for that. If despair should find me- so be it! Bring it on. I am no stranger to despair. Even in despair, I trust in infinite joy, I will always return to my joy. I will find joy waiting for me, ever-present like the sun, though sometimes hidden by a cloud.
Each day, I can reach out for the hand of joy and say "I choose you." I will. I must.
I believe it takes more courage to choose joy, more guts to choose happiness, bigger balls to choose love. Despair and hopelessness are real. Depression is real. Pain is real. Anguish, heartache, loneliness. All real. But what I see so often, among so many gifted, creative, beautiful people is those things being used as a hiding place. As a saga, to serve a story, to justify one's limits. I see depression and despair and darkness and loneliness being used and overused. Abused, by so many brilliant people that were meant for so much more. So many have adopted despair and hopelessness as a way of being in this world, and I think that's a chicken-shit way to live. Just one more way to hide out, stay small, another form of cowardice. A slow death. A dark existence.
When given a choice, I will choose the light. I don't live in a "Desperation Nation." Or if I do, I'm a clueless, silly, happy illegal alien, just passing through.
"I’ve noticed a belief that somehow optimism lacks intelligence and that optimism stems from a lack of experience and naivete. I don’t believe that. I believe optimism is a choice. Cynicism isn’t smarter, it’s just safer." - Jewel
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